Midnight economics lesson.

The woman standing in front of me in the "12 items or less" line at Schnucks tonight had seven items. They were: five 24 oz. cans of Milwaukee's Best Light and two bottles of Jack Daniel's Downhome Punch. Her total was $9.43. Without doing any basic math, I can be fairly sure that this person is not doing the most with her money.

I see this happen all the time at this particular Schnucks location (which several of my coworkers have informed me is too ghetto [they are too snooty] to frequent) — customers buy the equivalent of a 12-pack, or even a 24-pack, of beer in 24 oz. cans. Not too economical.

Clearly it's glamorous to sip a fine lager, such as Milwaukee's Best Light, from a 24 oz. aluminum can while sitting on your porch overlooking three dumpsters and a couple stray cats fucking under a busted street light. But how about a little compromise? It's the year two thousand and nine and we're in a god damned recession.

Just buy the smaller cans, save yourself a dollar, and spend that extra money on a toothbrush (what I bought at the grocery store tonight). You need one. I looked. It's gross.

I walked home about 50 yards behind this woman. She lives pretty close. She doesn't seem to know a lot about how to skimp on money when you're buying bottom-of-the-barrel booze. Maybe I should have said something, because I think I do. I didn't though.

But then again, maybe those extra couple of beers would have just made her more drunk, and she would have accidentally slept in tomorrow. She might have missed work, been fired and then she wouldn't have the cash to buy even one tall boy tomorrow night.

I don't understand economics.